How To Talk About Sobriety: Advice and Expert Tips

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fear of being sober

These are some of the most difficult questions in recovery, and the answers may change over time. The FHE Health team is committed to providing accurate information that adheres to the highest standards of writing. If one of our articles drug rehab success rate statistics is marked with a ‘reviewed for accuracy and expertise’ badge, it indicates that one or more members of our team of doctors and clinicians have reviewed the article further to ensure accuracy.

What Is Sobriety, Anyway?

Most people who make their way into recovery have left a lot of pain and suffering in their wake. Feeling guilty or ashamed of past behavior or actions during active addiction is natural and healthy. Financial troubles and problems finding and keeping employment are major triggers for relapse, but it is possible to take baby steps and get your finances in order.

You’re not obligated to drink just to make others feel good about their drinking. This is the hard part, but it’s also the most rewarding. When you do start to deal with your problems in healthier ways (and you will), you are going to feel completely transformed and unstoppable.

When the Fear of Being Sober Means Facing Emotion

To help keep track of your answers, you can use this pod mapping worksheet on the BATJC website, or you can simply write them down in a journal. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. A meta-analysis of two genome-wide association studies to identify novel loci for maximum number of alcoholic drinks. Investigators hypothesize that something about the ALDH2 genotype prevents the early onset of female alcoholism.

fear of being sober

Some are structured in programs, such as the 12-step approach used by Alcoholics Anonymous and similar addiction recovery programs. Once you have solid answers on whom you want to talk to, it’s time to consider the actual convo itself. There are no hard-and-fast rules for this particular step—only you know the context and history of your relationships and your sobriety journey.

This article will describe sobriety in more detail, the challenges a person faces while working to stay sober, the options for treatment, and tips for building a sober lifestyle. It’s only natural to fear judgment, scrutiny, rejection, or just a lack of understanding and acceptance should you speak up about sobriety. “It can be nerve-wracking not knowing how a loved one may react to this information,” says Sarah Elder, LCSW, CADC, a certified alcohol and drug counselor at Cook County Health. However, the idea behind the Addicted-Self Model is that alcoholism, like many other diseases, is a physical ailment—one that there is no cure for, only treatments that can help alleviate the symptoms. And one of those treatments is to simply (or not so simply) avoid consuming alcohol or whatever substance is the object of the addiction. Many individuals facing drug and alcohol addiction have developed a lifestyle around their addiction.

In fact, this fear personally led to a dozen failures in my own sobriety journey. Many of us drink because we need something to turn down the volume of the toxic shame parade running through our brains. With friends, if they aren’t on board with your sobriety, you’ll have some tough choices ahead. The good news is that you don’t have to worry about it until you’ve got some solid, sober days under your belt. Most people will need ongoing support groups for some time after detox. This is a very good time to speak to your counseling team about these fears and the emotional struggles you are having.

Knowing relapse signs can help you recognize your risk of relapse, and they may include a return to addictive thinking patterns and compulsive behaviors. Ultimately, picking an ideal time and comfortable physical environment can help you feel relaxed enough to share. This could mean walking to a nearby park to chat, visiting your favorite café, or staying in the comfort of your home.

Spending mental energy on things you cannot possibly know is useless. Every time you (or I) do that, we choose to suffer. What is the point of sobriety if you let yourself wallow in self-doubt and pity? I don’t believe you really feel that way because otherwise, you wouldn’t be here. You know, deep down, that you can and should have a better group ideas for substance abuse life. The more you scratch it, the worse it’s going to get.

Reality Check

  1. And, to be frank, many times that reality is downright hard to swallow.
  2. It’s not okay to be dishonest with yourself about where you’re headed.
  3. What is the point of sobriety if you let yourself wallow in self-doubt and pity?
  4. You make it up to everyone you ever hurt by never being that person again.

There are times when youll doubt yourself and get pushed outside of your comfort zone. There are times when you will fall short of a goal. At this point, you can either conclude that you dont mixing alcohol and suboxone deserve it or have what it takes, or you can try again.

Engage with relevant support groups to find peer support

It sounds like a weird thing to be afraid of, but it’s very real. Here’s the thing about the word “fail.” So long as you dust yourself off and keep trying, you haven’t failed at all. People go into these big personal transformations expecting a linear progression from start to goal. If all of your friends abuse alcohol and/or your spouse abuses alcohol, it makes a lot of sense to fear what will happen next. Realizing that sobriety means you’ll have to find new ways to handle your “stuff” is frightening.

Dual Diagnosis 101: How Mental Health Disorders and Substance Use Disorder Often go Hand in Hand

“The decision to be sober is very personal,” says Jackson. “Whether a person’s sobriety journey is easy or challenging doesn’t take away from the fact that they are deserving of respect and joy.” Getting sober means replacing your primary coping mechanism – drugs and alcohol – with new, unfamiliar ones. The process can be uncomfortable, particularly for someone who is afraid of feeling in general. Staying stuck in this fear generally means staying stuck in addiction.

But you do need patience, empathy for yourself, and a firm commitment to meeting your goal. Those who are overly pessimistic and say, “I’m going to be miserable forever,” will inevitably fail. On the flip side, people who are overly optimistic and say, “Oh, once I have one month sober, I’ll be fine,” will also likely fail when the one-month mark comes around and they realize their expectations were false. Being at a party or trying to find the perfect romantic partner without alcohol is the stuff of nightmares for many people. Even people for whom alcohol is not a problem experience this.

It’s the whole, “You mean I can never drink ever again?! ” Let your brain marinate on words like forever, and you’ll set yourself right up for failure. First, it is normal to be afraid when you first get sober. However, if you don’t learn to manage those fears and put them into perspective, they will drive you right back to the bottle. On the one hand, you hate what your life has become due to drinking.

Even though you know the health complications drug use has brought to you, it’s not uncommon to fear life without it. In some situations, people are scared sober, meaning they suffer life-threatening consequences to overdosing or using. You may be afraid to stop using because you have no idea what life will be like after you do.

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