“Pavel falls in love with a woman but does not tell her. They meet off and on, but he does not tell her of his feelings for her and she gets married to another man. Pavel is not yet told and finds out about it through an accidental addition to the WhatsApp group for the wedding. He is heartbroken but doesn’t let anyone know. He wishes he confessed. “
I had just gathered the courage to confess my feelings for my best friend when I was added to her wedding party. For a brief moment, I thought I was dreaming, but she had been taken.
“I’d like to be your friend, Mary, just a friend.” I had written this on a small piece of paper and handed it to Mary who was sitting one low ahead of mine along with the attendance sheet, it was during an English lecture, a course unit we shared while pursuing our bachelor’s degree at Makerere University. The lecturer had given me a suspicious look. I raised my head and concentrated. “Some of you have no idea why you’re here; I’m teaching, and you’re looking for pretty girls. And when you fail, you accuse us of being cruel.” the lecturer had expressed her disappointment in me.
Mary, a purebred from Western Uganda, didn’t have just one admirer; her looks stunned many of those I knew. Her personality, character, and behavior were unusual. She communicated through aroma! Although she was cruel with her words, she was a joy to listen to. She knew her worth and regarded herself with admirable pride.
She turned and looked at me after scanning my chit. Her translucent eyes mirrored mine. Shyness melted me. When the lecture was over, everyone left. I sat still and silently, pretending to read through my notes.
“Good day, Pavel.” She said my name clearly and articulately. My veins’ blood froze. “She acknowledged my name!” I was pleasantly surprised. “Please excuse me.” I inquired after completing a marathon of thoughts. “How are things going?” She asked, her snow-white incisors perfectly distributed and aligned in her chocolate gums.
“Thank you very much, dear. How are you doing?” I inquired, staring down. We talked for a few minutes before she could leave. “It’s been a pleasure talking to you, Pavel,” she said as she stood up and wrapped her arms around me. She spoke softly next to my ear. “Thank you for your time, my dear. Where are you going to get your lunch?” I was curious. “at the Guild canteen.” She responded without hesitation. “Uh, uh,” I stammered before she inquired if we could go together. “I was thinking about going to the staff canteen instead,” I responded with solicited bravado. “It’s fine, Pavel. Let’s get started.” We hurried down the Upper Lecture Theatre stairs. Her body rattled as she walked; she appeared boneless. Many people, students, casuals, and lecturers took notice of us.
We sat across from each other at the table. “What would you like, Pavel?” She inquired in a relaxed tone. She was everything I desired. I was already content. “Juice will suffice,” I responded. “Is it just juice? Pavel, come on! You must consume food. You must add some weight.” She laughed. I reciprocated the smile. I worked hard to keep her happy so she could keep smiling- she had a lovely smile! “All right, order one plate and share it.” I made a joke. She laughed softly while holding my hand “Please, Pavel, come to a halt. We need to get out of here quickly because I need to take my internship application somewhere. By the way, have you secured an internship?” She inquired with some trepidation. Meanwhile, I thought this could be my time to confess but if she not only turns down my request but also ends our newfound friendship? I didn’t bother.
Mary became so close to me, an opportunity for which many prayed in vain. We went into the field together during our internship, started writing our stories, and edited each other’s work. We rehearsed our work and voiced our stories in the studio. We were interning at a media house in Uganda, little celebrities? I thought this would be our perfect place together. Those who saw us assumed we were lovers, and I did my part in shielding her from those who bothered her. To her I must have been a perfect brother, to me she was a perfect choice of my heart.
One morning I woke up, Mary had added my phone number to a WhatsApp group with the title “Mary introduces Mark.” It also had their profile picture: Mary standing behind Mark, right hand on Mark’s chin, bending in his neck for a smooch. I tried to breathe while requesting my sight for confirmation. I called her to see if what I had watched was true. She undeniably confirmed that she would meet Mark’s parents the following month. Mary married someone else. I have never known a more agonizing pain.
I was afraid of losing her friendship, so I lost her love!
Clever Pavel
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